Resolute

I suppose it’s the time of year to make promises to myself that I will undoubtably feel enthusiasm for, anxiety over and guilty of haven fallen short of during the course of the coming year. Although my past record of resolutions met is low, like most who still feel the urge to make them, I will not give in to the cynicism of my peers who no longer see the worth in such exercises. Each goal I set is one drop in my glass half full that this year will be different. That the turning of the calendar can manifest a turning point in life. Perhaps less grandly stated: it’s time for a change.

So in the spirit of the season, behold my list of resolutions! I can’t promise that all will be met. I can say for certain that some will be broken. Ultimately I …hope.

1) Eat eggs.
I hate eggs. Hate. Them. So much so, I used to pick them out of fried rice. If that isn’t neurosis, I don’t know what is. However they are cheap, nutritious protein that can be made in endless, delectable variations if I am to believe Pinterest and all brunch menus everywhere. #FOMO

2) Lose 60lbs.
I am overweight; 44lbs overweight and 70lbs from my ideal. As David Byrne might say, “well, how did I get here?”: I ate myself silly, didn’t exercise and bought new clothes when the old ones wouldn’t fit. I’ve made the same resolution every year for the last five years which to me is sadder than the weight gain itself. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. 

3) Read 52 books.
Every year I up the ante, trying to recapture that time in my life when I had nothing but copious, uninterrupted reading time. I’m stealing the 52 book challenge and its rules from a friend: Each book has to be at least 200 pages. Books I read for school count. I can read up to 5 plays…who am I kidding, I don’t read plays.

4) Go camping in Yosemite. (Bonus points for Kirby Cove or Big Sur)
I haven’t been on a camping trip that didn’t devote 2/3 of my gear to costumes since 2004. I would love to experience one of America’s greatest national parks during the peak of youth and health (provided I accomplish the aforementioned weight loss). Kirby Cove, that jewel of a campsite within a stone’s throw of the city, would also be a memorable getaway with friends as would Big Sur. 

5) Share this blog with my friends.
I’ve always wanted to share my writing with friends. However actually doing so requires me to cultivate the habit, exercise my voice and increase my output so that I can gain the necessary confidence in my work to expose it to public critique. This post is a step toward this goal. Yay! 

6) Meditate.
Pause. Breathe. Be. I need to do this daily to prepare my mind for the work I plan to do this year. Letting go of my tendency to hindsight in order to be in the moment and prepare for the possibilities of future is one of my truest desires for 2014. I need to move forward if I’m ever going to go anywhere. I want to do 5-10 minutes of meditation a day and make time to go to the Kadampa Meditation Center at least once a month. And I can’t forget to hang with my new meditation buddy Alex.  

7) Follow a budget for 30 days.
My name is Joanna and I have a problem with spending money. I need to stop, collaborate (with my finances) and listen (to my back account) so I can save up and rock some ice, ice, baby. 

8) Learn to do one flawless daytime and nighttime look.
Shout out to the ladies of /r/makeupaddiction! This is the year I’m going to learn to do my makeup like a big girl. Perhaps I’ve been influenced by the selfie culture but now more than ever I feel empowered to take control over how I look. Whether it’s celebrating my natural hair, sculpting the ultimate machine out of my body or turning up my face with a megawatt look. I used to think that makeup was the crutch of those with low self esteem but I see it more as art now, a form of self-expression.

9) Dance.
Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. Dancing is my preferred night time activity, my favorite workout and the best therapy. It only took two hours of Beyonce videos to come to this conclusion. As of late, my weight has curbed my confidence and ability to express myself in this arena. No more. I’m going to try to find a non-zumba dance workout class stat. 

10) Take a voice lesson.
Singing is the last frontier of my self consciousness. I loathe karaoke and cringe when faced with singing aloud outside the privacy of my own home no matter how innocuous the situation. But if I’m to believe my boyfriend, I have some raw talent. I want to be able to open my lungs and have something worth noticing emerge. 

Ok…Ready…Set…2014!

3 thoughts on “Resolute

  1. No eggs? No bread too? Does that mean no french toast? Please tell me no.

    For #7, I found that using Mint (or anything like it) made it easy to figure out what my budget should be based on what I actually spend in a month. Took a few months to have enough data, but well worth it.

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